Reality Bites ... 90s style

Well I have been working this weekend- I felt crappy and tired and totally irritable. Last night I totally snapped at a manager- even though I was completely right and she DID come to me and apologize for arguing with me- I normally have enough control I can just walk away and talk shit but I have completely lost my filter. . . which is not good because I am the kind of person who seriously needs a filter. Opps :) Point being- through all the bumps I made it through work the last three days and for that I think I am not a total failure. WOO HOO

While I haven't been feeling better I keep thinking I am almost there and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel... the end of the 1st trimester right? I will wake up one day and feel refreshed and my tummy will feel normal (even though i can't even remember what a normal tummy feels like). Soon Soon....

Tonight I watched Knocked Up for the first time since I am became knocked up. Even though i thought it was very funny the first time I found much more emotions this time around. Cried my little eyes out in the end-- so I might be a little too honest here but this is my blog and so I should say what I am thinking.... In the movie Katherine Heigl's character is all alone when she goes into labor and she calls guy who knocked up her after they had stopped talking and he was there and stayed there and lala everything is great, but what if he had just been like "lemme check the caller-id, ugh that hormonal bitch? I am not in the mood for her" and then hit ignore. So she would call an ambulance and then had some doctor she didn't know with a nurse who was weird were the only ones there when she was giving birth to a child..... what if the guy just didn't care to talk to her again or he was just busy and she was just ... there on her own to figure it out. How crappy but realistic right? UGH ...

I can't stand unknowns- and i know i know- Sara you are only in your third month, lots of time for things to fall into place. Friends, family.... there is no way you will be alone. But we all have these pictures in our head about how it will be and I want it to be a certain way and that unknown is so frustrating. What is wrong with the world.. and people.. and why don't things fall into place sooner so we don't have to stress about the what ifs?

blah.... taking baby daddy applications starting on June 1.... must be free around December 16th to hold my hand: I even promise to trim my nails. *sigh*