morning sickness and the reality of pregnancy

For the first four days I was so excited and all the real thoughts went through my head: I'm having a baby, a baby that is going to depend totally on me, now my life is all about another person, how will I tell everyone, oh my god I am going to have to push it out of me, yea I will get good pain killers, should I breast feed, what if it is a boy- i don't know what to do with that stuff..... all very important thoughts and questions, but very simple till I woke up and headed to class this morning.

Driving down K-10 toward Lawrence I felt exceptionally tired. Granted I talked with my psychologist on Monday and cannot take any of my medication, which is only going to be an issue because most of it helps me sleep- hence why i didn't sleep much last night. I thought nothing of being tired, except that a vanilla latte would sure hit the spot -- do they come caffeine free? :P Well as I got closer to Lawrence I realized that my tummy sure wasn't feeling good. Then as I was singing along to some Jimmy Eat World I had the overwhelming sensation that I was going to puke. Yup.... ALL DAY... nauseous, i am struggling to keep any food down, and decidedly not eating more than a couple bites and then keeping my mouth shut till the need to puke goes away. Only to come back 15 minutes later. Needless to say I went home and slept all day.

I was not expecting to have so many symptoms so soon. I am all over the place from crying, boobs hurting, wanting to vomit- to - only wanting to eat twizzlers and drink root beer and feeling particularly gassy. Which is all normal according to my bible What to Expect When You're Expecting. This all has made the realities of pregnancy much more tangible than just images of rubber ducks, fuzzy pink blankets, and Coach diaper bags.... now off to study for my Shakespeare Exam. Must read Shakespeare and Not my Book of Baby names.... :)